I’m the BLACK BEST FRIEND

You know the one.

  • Where the white girl comes to you to spill her ratchet ass look what my vagina has done stories because she knows that you’re the only one who won’t judge her ratchet ass.
  • Where the white girl comes to you confused as to why all these men WANT her vagina because she doesn’t understand fully the implications of eurocentric standards of beauty with regards to white women.
  • Where the white girl sheds white girl tears about how difficult it is to be so desired.
  • Where the white girl cannot fully console you when you make a sarcastic but truthful comment about your experience as a black woman and how that makes you undesirable unless brutish superficial sex is the main goal.
  • Where the white girl is unable to make you feel better because she can only employ the but YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL compliment as if what she says will give other bodies the permission to realize that blackness should not be evaluated on scales of desirability and pleasure.

Two things that are completely different. Desire and pleasure.

  • Where the white girl knows that being your friend will just certainly help her win the…but i’m not racist argument. She also will not pull this shit in front of you though. 
  • Where the white girl is unable to understand what it is about her vagina that causes men to continue to aggressively pursue sexual relationships with her.
  • Where the white girl is also hetero and is unable to even fathom your own ability to fuck other women AND your inability to fuck white queer women because they, guess what, still do not desire you. If you are not Kate Moennig or Beyoncé, with queer white women, it’s not going to fly.
  • Sidenote: When queer white women get mad that THEY are not the main object of your desire, even though in public spaces like clubs and parties, you most likely aren’t the main object of theirs, either. Or they play that “we’re too intimidated” bullshit card.
  • Where the white girl sits on your bed and wants you to be there for her as she goes through her years trying to figure out what beauty really is without realizing that she is, in fact, the standard of it.

And yes, she’s fucking beautiful as shit. Just on an individual level. And even before I identified as queer and became comfortable with it, I desired to fuck her, too. And I was angry about that because I’m not exactly attracted to her.

Are y’all hearing me?

But her whiteness is what defines that beauty for the rest of us. And she doesn’t get it.

here I am. the trustworthy, loyal, black best friend. And I love the shit out of her, but sometimes I be like…

SHIT I’M TOO BLACK FOR: Being the savior black best friend who makes you feel good about you and your beauty.